The Proof About Sammy's Heart
by shimmerinstars
Summary: Metatron uses Sam's desperation for information about the darkness to tap into his every insecurity. Leaving Sam questioning his choices, intentions,and his own self worth. With Dean able to counter them all but one, that continues to haunt Sam.


**Disclaimer:** Not mine

 **Author's Notes:** Thanks to Jedisapphire for the beta

 **Summary:** Metatron uses Sam's desperation for information about the darkness to tap into his every insecurity. Leaving Sam questioning his choices, intentions,and his own self worth. With Dean able to counter them all but one, that continues to haunt Sam.

 **o0o**

Dean had a bad feeling when he agreed to Sam accompanying Castiel on his trip to see Metatron. Castiel having this far-fetched idea that the scribe might help them with fighting the darkness and Sam's point it couldn't hurt to try, Dean couldn't argue with. But he still didn't like it, and not able to go having promised Jody he'd work on her car, it didn't sit well with him.

 **o0o**

After Metatron turned them down flat and Castiel and Sam had parted ways. It was then Metatron caught up to Sam by the impala, engaging him in conversation under the false pretense of a change of heart. Metatron in a clever, calculating, and seamless manner, used Sam's desperation for information about the darkness to keep him fastened there, while he tapped into every insecurity Sam ever had about himself. Leaving the younger Winchester questioning his choices, intentions, and his own self worth, feeling that if only he tried harder or cared more, people wouldn't have been hurt or killed because of him.

o0o

One look at Sam's face and Dean knew he should have listened to his gut. He wanted to kill Castiel even if it wasn't his fault but Sam was an emotional mess and he needed to yell at someone. So he called the Angel and gave him an earful. But once Dean was able to set Sam's head straight by countering most of the distorted garbage Metatron had fed him, Dean apologized.

Dean had managed to put his Humpty Dumpty of a brother back together again but he knew there was one crack that wasn't going anywhere soon. One Dean couldn't annihilate fully no matter how hard he tried. Sam couldn't shake Metatron telling him he didn't care enough and that was the basis of his every failure.

 **o0o**

 **Present Day**

The brothers had spent a long weekend in Irvington, New York tracking down and killing a werewolf. The danger had been eliminated and the small town could breath easy. But it was getting late and the brothers were exhausted and hungry, so they decided to stay another night at the motel and head home in the morning. But even while working this job it wasn't hard for Dean to see what Metatron had said to Sam about him not caring enough was still bothering him.

Dean had to say something but he waited until they both had showered and attended to wounds that needed a few stitches, to do so.

o0o

"Why are you letting Metatron still get to you?" Dean asked, more harshly then he intended.

"I'm trying not to," Sam closed his laptop having ordered their pizza.

"You do know its ludicrous taking anything that Metatron said's seriously," Dean said, at a loss to understand, how his brother could let that dick get under his skin and for that long.

The sad-eyed look Sam gave him,when he stepped past to grab them both a beer told Dean how much it still was.

"Come here," Dean took the beer and placed them on the table. Then he took Sam by the arm, seating him on the edge of his bed and then sat opposite him.

"You think I don't know you've been feeding a part of your every meal to that stray dog?"

Sam looked at him puzzled.

"Or that you gave him your left overs from that fancy diner we treated ourselves to?"

"I wasn't hiding it Dean," Sam said. "The dog was starving."

"You think I didn't see you working those puppy dog eyes of yours on that clerk here, and anyone you could get to listen to take the dog, until someone did?"

"Again Dean I wasn't hiding it. I just tried to avoid doing it in front of you. So what's your point?"

"Last night I heard you talking in the bathroom."

Caught off guard Sam looked down uncomfortably.

"Yeah I heard you, and at first I thought maybe you had finally cracked and began talking to yourself. But it sounded like you were talking to a kid so I thought you had snuck another dog in that you planned to rescue. But when the door opened you came out holding something so carefully in your hands like it might break and I was at a loss. Then you started talking to whatever you were holding, saying to it, you're going to be okay buddy, and it was when you opened the door I caught sight of the moth you let go."

"Okay," Sam said, his head still lowered. "Go on Dean, have your fun."

Dean placed his fingertips under Sam's chin, and gently lifted his face until he found his brother's eyes. "My point is Metatron wouldn't know a good person if he tripped over one,Sammy. That if you can still care, after everything you've been through, and seen, and do what you did for that dog and a freaking moth, it tells me you have the biggest heart of anyone I know."

"Dean took hold of his brother's face with both hands. "And who knows you better than anyone?"

"You do jerk," Sam, smiled teary-eyed.

"Dam right I do bitch, " Dean answered assuredly, a couple hard knocks indicating their Pizza had arrived.

"Hungry?" Dean asked warmly, patting one side of his brother's face before letting go.

"Starving."

"Good! You pick a movie out and I'll grab the pizza and beer."


End file.
